Hello! I am back. No photos today, just words. I have not worked out at the YMCA for almost a full 5 months. I went and played wallyball one time on a day off of work. After losing my hours working at the front desk, I just stopped going at all. I have been there for coffee, I have been there to sub over Christmas break, but I just let my energy disappear. I did get a new job and what a great job it is. I just can't have this job and fit in the Y unless it is exactly what I want in hours. That is not an option right now, the Y is just looking for something different than I can give them right now.

This morning I woke up and thought to myself for a long time. It was 4:45am. Plenty of time to get my butt out of bed and make it for the 5:!5 cycling class. Should I? Shouldn't I? Bed so comfortable. So cold! House messy. I could get up and clean, I could just roll back over. No one is expecting me to be at the Y. I can just go back to sleep for 2 hours. No, I need to go. If I go, I will feel better. If I go, it will be a first step to make me go more. If I go, it will be so much easier to go next time. If I go, my butt will hurt today after spin class. I need to go. I need to get healthy. I am not healthy.

I went. It was good. My reward was seeing my friends that love and respect and miss me and the beautiful pink sunrise on my drive home to start my work day. I didn't miss out on sleep, I gained life this morning.

Happy Mother's Day

Finally it was Mother's Day weekend! I have been waiting for this weekend for months. Why so excited? I love to garden. I love being out in the yard and making things look pretty. Mother's Day is always the safe day to plant your garden and your seeds. Also being that I am a mom, I pretty much can get away with making my family hang out with me and help. Saturday my parent's came to visit. They day had a chance for rain, so I was hoping to get the gardens ready to be planted so i could do the planting on Sunday. I planned for us to visit some garden centers if the weather did get rainy. They called me when they reached the Rockford area explaining they wanted to go eat breakfast at Sam's in Cortland. They invited us to go and I almost said no, but there was no reason not to go this time. Everyone ordererd their breakfasts and when they arrived at the table it almost made me laugh outloud. They food around the table included, a mickey mouse pancake with whipped creme, one stuffed french toast with bluberries and whipped creme, french toast, country fried steak and eggs with gravy and potatoes,  french toast, a veggie skillet with scrambled eggs, and one waffle with strawberries and whipped creme. Guess which one was mine. It was very hard for me that morning to enjoy my breakfast seeing all the yummies around me (it was like everyone had a hot fudge sundae in front of them and I had a salad), but in the end after enjoying my wheat toast with some eggs and veggies, I was very pleased with my decision. I think chose the best for me for the most nutrition. I also had a tomato juice. It was a yummy treat.

The rest of Saturday was awesome. We went to many garden centers and had fun looking at flowers and plants. After the ice cream sundaes at breakfast, I craved it all day, so for a mid afternoon snack I took everyone to Ollies. Ollies happens for me only a couple of times per year, so it was a good treat. Plus I get a junior size usually which I think is just enough. Later I made chicken fajitas for dinner and like last time, they were awesome!



Mother's Day Sunday was a birdwalk with two of my besties. It was lead by Peter Olson which is a fun bird guy that makes birding interesting and fun. I had a blast at the marsh and saw some fun stuff. Every Mother's Day he offers this walk. It is a perfect way to start my Mother's Day off each year. The rest of the day I planted seeds and pulled weeds. It was so perfect. I honestly had the best Mother's Day EVER!

I remember back to my first Mother's Day. Charlie was just a month old and I walked to church with him. It was just the two of us and Dean had something else to do that day. I was totally ok with it. I loved being with him. It was a perfect way to spend Mother's Day. Mother's Day is created for children to spend time with their mother. It is special time set aside for appreciation. I take it as a time to reflect also. Life goes by fast, you need to enjoy being a mother, or let your mother know how much you care.  If you don't have a mother to spend time with, then find something to do for yourself that day. It is just a special day set aside to do something special. It is usually a beautiful day, so enjoy it.






This Mother's Day has been the closest to compare to that first one. My wonderful day was topped off by my favorite pizza ever. World Famous Pizza! After I thought about asking for it for dinner that night, I remembered that the final weigh in was the very next day. Ohhhh no! I decided that I was going to have a salad and only eat two squares of pizza. Well that totally didn't work. I ate and ate and ate. No!!! It was yummy and I couldn't stop. I could have used a little someone sitting on my shoulder at that moment telling me what to do. I know that my weight loss in pounds was barely one pound in this 9 week program and I was a little disappointed. I know that I lost inches around my waist though. I was hoping for 4 inches and couldn't wait until Monday's weigh in!

A lame post with no photos. Sorry.

I went to bed Tuesday night setting my alarm for 4:45am. Just enough time to wake up and leave the house by 5am to get to the Y to take the 5:15am cycling class. I woke up Wednesday morning and hit the snooze, but quickly got up and headed to the Y. I really was neutral in how I felt. Tired? Happy? Just there I suppose. But I had to go since I did not make it Tuesday morning. Cycling was led by Vicki, which I have never talen it from before. It was awesome. Quieter than I am used to, but I still got an excellent workout! It was perfect timing to get home in time to make a nice breakfast (oatmeal), shower, then get the lunches packed and the boys ready to leave the house. I think I could do this on Wednesday mornings!

(Going back to Tuesday again) I missed all my planned workouts for Tuesday including meeting my friend Dustin for some swimming. I had been wanting to try getting in the pool for a workout, but just had not. Dustin and I both need motivation to workout as well as a reason to go (accountability via meeting up with a friend). Later in the day Tuesday, there was a nice facebook message waiting for me from Dustin.

It said, "I'm Josh Corning you right now. HEY TRACY when are we going swimming tomorrow. Hahaha".

It made me laugh out loud because that was so true. Josh has become a verb! When someone "Josh Corns" you it means, bugging you because he knows what is best to motivate your butt to get up and workout! Of course I was  happy to commit to 2:00pm in the warm pool and warned him I couldn't swim very well and I would be using a kick board. The kick board thing lasted about 2 laps when I realized that I was moving as slow as a snail. I also realized that if I wanted to do the indoor triathlon in February, I needed to learn how to swim for real and use my arms. Swimming was the first part in the triathlon, so I needed to use my arms to swim so that I could still have legs to bike and run. I agreed to giving up the kick board for a pair of goggles and I also agreed to go to the big pool. It wasn't bad at all! I have a lot of practicing to do in order to get my breathing down to a nice rhythm, but I really enjoyed the workout. I also enjoyed my new workout buddy Dustin. He gave me just the right amount of encouragement. I really had picked workout buddies that I knew would challenge me and motivate me to do better. I wasn't too sure how Dustin would motivate me, but I was pleased and I decided to keep him on for Wednesdays.

Wednesday evening I was supposed to workout with my group. I had talked with Tammy on Monday about challenging me more and of course, I couldn't make it. Dean had to work late and I just didn't have it in me to drag the kids to the Y that night. Both my kids were needing some down time and so instead we just hung out at home. I felt guilty. I hate feeling guilty.

Let's talk about food now. I really love cooking and planning what I am going to eat. I love payday and the weekend or so after payday. But I hate when I start running out of food in the house and money and I have to stretch it the rest of the week. In the pre-healthy living time, I would make easy things like hamburger helper, or hot dogs and mac and cheese for dinner. Part of my healthy living journey is to also change some things that I feed my children. I am starting slow by taking away some of the really unhealthy options like hot dogs, boxed mac and cheese, and chicken nuggets. Of course fast food also has also been taken out of our diets. Of course I can't control what Dad does, so at times they get it as well as him. At this point, it is ok and I will fight that battle when I get to it. My point is, it is hard to eat healthy when payday is not here yet and I feel like the healthy foods that I need are the first to go.
Thursday was Cycling with Frances. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel having a cycling class two days in a row, but it felt great. She worked us hard and I LOVED it! The only sadness to this day was the fact that our schedule was going to change and Frances wasn't going to be able to do cycling for us anymore. I don't know how I feel about this. Josh quickly said that he would still be doing it for us. I heard he pushed the class to the point of breaking on Tuesday. I don't know if I am going to like this!

I felt like I was just going through the motions this week. Get up, workout, try to eat right, sleep. It was almost like I knew what to do and was on autopilot. Friday I met with Sue, she worked me out good...AGAIN. I really love weight training. I really love everything. I am still trying to find a good groove of what to do what day. Maybe it isn't so much a routine I need, but just to make sure the pieces that I am suppose to use each week or two, get used. Maybe not so much the same thing in same order, but more like do what I feel like doing without neglecting any certain part of the whole. Maybe it will be like when you notice you are craving oranges because your body may be lacking in some certain vitamin. I hope it is like that. "Hey Tracy, let's swim today because your muscles in that area need it." or "Tracy, you really need to walk and run because you need some cardio!" We will only see. I am a planner, so I need to plan to some amount, but maybe I should quit worrying so much about coming up with a permanent routine and only look a week or two ahead.

Honest Motivation

The weekend went by fast. I had Wyatt all to myself. Dad and Charlie had gone to scout camp for the weekend. Saturday we spent the day hiking and birding. This is the first time I had taken him with me when I went with friends. I have taken him for quick trips alone or with Charlie, but never for a longer, actual birding trip. He was fantastic! 5 year olds are funny like that. Sometimes that can be Dennis the Menaces, but then other times perfect angels. Today he was in angel mode. We had a delightful time and I had some great photos too. I went with my friends Darrell and Dawn, they are delights in my life as well. They are 2 of many friends that make me laugh. Always fun too! Laughing is the best!

I was glad that Saturday had been a day for rest from working out because Sunday was Dragon Boat Practice. What is a dragon boat you ask? Well it is a long boat that looks similar to a canoe that holds 21 people. There is a steersman, a flag catcher, a drummer, and 18 paddlers. "We don't row. We paddle!" That was Marybeth's favorite thing to say when someone said it wrong. Last year at the race, the Paddlin' for MB team won it all! We were unstoppable because we were doing it for Marybeth. She had started the Dragon Boat team 3 years prior and I had been fortunate enough to be on her team that first year. Last year while she was battling her cancer, she was unable to be on the boat with us, but she was there. She was so proud of us winning and it showed in her smile and her tears. She won't be here with us this year to watch us, but we know she is watching over us. She will be proud whether we bring home another medal or not. Of course her smile will be bigger if we do!!! Sunday's practice felt good. We had only 9 people show up to practice, but we moved that boat and were able to get the new comers acquainted with the boat, the rules, and the correct way to paddle.

These amazing photos were taken by my photographer friend Debbie Miller. She is fantastic and captured a very special moment when she took this photo of our team with Marybeth. We did it for her. It was all for Marybeth! It is amazing how many times I think of her. I think of her when I see something funny, I think of her when I look at old photos, and when I am just driving home from work. Most of the time I think of her when I am unhappy, ready to give up, or some other emotion that makes me stop and think, MB didn't quit and neither will I! She is a strong motivator in a lot of people's lives. She has always been supportive, and I miss her very much. I am glad she is still a part of our lives. There are many of us that would agree.

Here is a link to see some of Debbie's photography.



I love her flickr photos. She is such a great Nature Photographer!


Monday Monday Monday! Oh how I loathe thee! Want to know why? Well it is not because I work from 4:45am until noon, it is not because I get to walk/run with Josh in the afternoon, it is that darned weigh-in meeting! I know that I shouldn't be taking the weekends off, but reality is, it happens. I don't have to work, so I don't pack my food for the day into a handy dandy lunchbox. So I eat a little bit differently. I take a day off from exercising too. Let's do weigh-in on Friday mornings?! ok?! The weigh-in, no matter the day, really should show me results, but not so much at this time. I am going to count on my last weigh in next week to show some results plus my waist measurement should show some big time results. I am not kidding when I say that my waist measured in the first night at 49 inches. That my friends, is a very round belly! I know it is smaller and I can't wait to see how much! I am not even going to look before next Monday. I am going to keep it a surprise!

Walking and Running with Josh is an ongoing challenge of mine. It is hard work. I try very hard, but I still feel like I give up too quickly. How do these people run for miles? I can't even do one mile! In the last week, I have had two very good friends ask me why I am running. I think what they mean is, are you sure you want to run because it could be bad for your body because not everyone is meant to run and you don't HAVE to run. I too used to believe this. My answer to their question was, I am running because I can. I am running because I want to. I am running because I know from experience now, that each time I go out and do it, it gets easier to do. Ok, that is a lie. It doesn't get easier, I am just able to go longer and recover quicker. Monday Josh and I started at my house and went down to Rotary Park. They have a nice large path around the lake which I am sure is larger than 1/2 mile around. I did 2 minute walks and 1.5 minute jogs. At times I only did 1 minute jogs, but for the most part, Josh thinks that we ran more minutes total. I felt like I didn't do as well as last week with him, but when I thought about it, I still felt like I did a good job. He was very supportive during our routine. He told me lots of nice things about people being proud of me for doing this, and how people would be proud of me that I decided to go around that lake, not only once but twice before heading home. I totally agree with him. The amount of praise I am getting from friends and family is OUTSTANDING! I am loving the feedback and it keeps me going. I also have people message me in secret. They either tell me about what they are doing, or going to do, or just little words of encouragement to me. The thing that stands out the most is when people say that it is motivating and honest. Well that is AWESOME to hear! I love that I am motivating and honest. I think that may be some of the greatest traits to radiate, don't you think?!

This weeks meeting was OUTSTANDING! My friend Jamie was the speaker and she was sharing with us ways to maintain. I learned some things. These things were not things that she told us, rather things she pulled out of us because how to maintain is an individual thing. If you lose weight or change your habits, you come to realize what things were working to do this and get results and what things were not working. Examples of things that don't work for me would be: Going out to eat (because I eat too much), working out at night (because I dislike it and love working out in the morning), and exercising by myself (because I need to be challenged and I won't do that myself). After you figure out what didn't work, you try to not repeat that. You live, learn, and don't forget what didn't work so you don't make those mistakes again if you happen to be back on this road again. She was funny and motivational. She has always been an awesome inspiration to me and has always been there for me whenever I have had any question about nutrition or pretty much anything! Did I mention that she is AWESOME?! At the end we made a list for ourselves to answer the question, "What will I do?" This question is what will I do to maintain? or when this program is over?

Here is my list, and of course I will share it with you so that you can help me keep it up!

1. Work out each and every day in some way, even if it is just going for a walk or playing with my kids at the park instead of watching them play.
2. Leave unhealthy food at the store.
3. Plan my meals ahead of time so I don't give up and eat out, or get too hungry and binge, or each something that is not a healthy option.
4. Get a healthy recipe book or magazine.
5. Stay away from anything with a drive-thru and eventually not go there for my children either.
6. Stay off of soda and keep drinking the water.

Oh, and the weigh-in... Well, if you go back to my original weigh in which was 262 point something (I rounded to 265 at the first week of the program and this blog because that is what I had been until I weighed in on this scale), well I lost one pound. Oh my, I feel like it is never going to start going down. I don't know where the other couple of pounds went that I lost to begin with, but they came back. I was discouraged, but I know I am doing it correctly. I am making a lifestyle change. I am changing my life for the better. I am living for my children and also will raise my children so they too can be healthy and raise their children healthy. I know this weigh-in is just for this challenge part of the program and I feel so much better now than I have in the last 5 years. I can do this and I will. And when the scale starts agreeing with me, I am going to be a happy camper. Maybe even throw a party!

Ahhhh, finally Tuesday! Tuesdays are my favorite. I go spin, I play wallyball, then I go home and eat and then I go to work. Fabulous. Yes, fabulous unless you wake up and realize you have so much stuff to get done and so much cleaning to do before you leave the house at 3pm that you start to panic. I then started bargaining with myself. Just go for one hour. Go to spin with Frances and then you can come home and finish. The problem is that I was on a roll, and had momentum. I was kicking butt and getting things done! I did what all woman do or wish they could do when they can't make a decision, I called my mom. Of course she was at work and I knew it, but I called her anyway. She called me right back and I was so happy. We talked quickly and she told me that it was ok to stay home. It would be a better decision for me for my health. Sometimes it is more about your mental health than the physical. She also told me that my body may need a rest day, and this may be the day. She told me I wouldn't be at home sitting around either, I had things to do and I would be doing them. She is the best! I decided to call Frances to let her know I wasn't going to make it. I started the conversation out with, "I have something to tell you and I will probably will start crying when I tell you, so please forgive me." I did too! I cried when I told her I wouldn't be there. I cried because I was sad that I couldn't go, I was angry because I let all these things at home pile up, and I also felt embarrassed that I was skipping a workout. I then told her I would come the next day and do the cycling class in early morning. She was so supportive. She told me all the same things my mom said and more! I got off the phone and cried more, but then I had the best day ever! I made my house clean and pretty in a matter of hours. I ate awesome healthy things and even experimented a little bit with blending my own plain yogurt to make it tasty, and made a spinach and mushroom quesadilla! I went outside and did some things in the garden. I played with Wyatt and the dog. I even went out to the store and looked at flowers and veggies to plant. Work was normal and when I got home at 8:30pm, I was all about eating something which was not on the schedule. I made the decision long ago that eating that late was not allowed. I almost gave in and made myself something good so I wouldn't snack on something bad when I saw that the neighbors were outside around their campfire. So I decided to do what we were taught with the emotional eating lesson, make a list of things to do so when you realize that you are not that hungry but you keep thinking about food, so you can do something to get away from the food thoughts. Well I did just that, and went and sat at the neighbors fire with them so I wouldn't think about eating. It worked and it was wonderful and such a good end to the day!

Moving Right Along, I Matter

The end of the week was pretty hard core! I woke up on Thursday morning wondering and doubting. I can't figure out what started the doubting but I am really curious why I went from positive to not so positive in a matter of a day. I was doubting and worried that I was going to quit, or not show up one day making it hard to go back the next day, or even put all this work into it and get no results. After about 30 minutes of this, I told myself to just shut up. I reminded myself of the reasons why I was doing this. I had tons of stuff that I wanted to do at home. My house was a disaster and my yard needed attention. The rain has delayed me getting out there to get the gardens ready and it is almost planting time. I decided I needed to just get up and go to the Y now, even though my planned workout time was 5pm on Thursdays. I was going to give myself an hour. I was either going to go cycle with Frances or take the circuit training class. I would go to one class, be there for an hour and then come right home and then I would get my stuff done. I needed to do it. I did it. It was great. Frances literally kicked our butts. OK, not really literally, but it was the hardest cycling class I had been to. I was very happy that I went! I think when you sweat so much, your mind thinks you got a better workout and that is just what I needed... (to trick my mind into thinking about good instead of the evil negative!)

That Jason Mraz song, I won't Give Up, has been going through my head constantly. I posted it for you to listen to. I laugh, because I feel as though I am singing this song to myself. I am telling myself that I won't give up on me. I know it may sound a bit corny, but it makes me feel good to sing it.

Later in the day Rachel gave me a call to see if we could move our walk/run time up earlier. We both had a prior engagement at 4pm that we had to be at, and she wanted to get the workout in earlier so that we had enough time at the event that started at 4pm. We decided to meet up at 2pm and walk a bit and figure out the fit fest route for this year. With Rachel's new position at the YMCA, that is one of her duties. Last year we had rain and it was inside and the year before was the first year at the new hospital. Now with the new roads in and whatnot, we needed to figure out how we were going to walk the mile with a smile this year. It was a good workout, but I did wuss out and didn't run. (I hope Rachel reads this next part) I could have ran. I could have pushed myself, but that is the problem, I won't push myself. I need someone else to push me. I was tired by this time of the week and after doing Frances' butt kicking cycling class, I was really tired. It was hot. I wussed out. So we walked. 

The day wasn't over for me yet! I headed over to 4 Seasons bowling alley for a little sand volleyball. I was on a team and played sand volleyball for the first time in 16 years. When I was 21, I played almost every night. It was what we did back home that summer. When I moved to DeKalb, I really wanted to play, but it just never happened. This was my chance to play and when some of my wallyball playing friends were looking for more bodies to play, I stepped forward. Of course, I didn't really need ANOTHER thing to do, but I really had a blast. We lost all 3 games, but it was OK! We still had fun!

Friday was weight training with Sue. I love Fridays! She worked me good, showed me some new things and I love doing my pull ups and dips on the gravitron. It makes me feel like I am doing something. Although the workout part of my day may be important to my Healthy Living Tracy Blog, there is something more important that happened Friday morning. I was talking to a member while working at the desk. This member  I had heard earlier in the year walking around the YMCA talking about how she loves it here because everyone is so positive. She had always interested me and I have had many conversations with her about stuff about me and stuff about her. One day I had complimented her on her handwriting and she told me that she had to learn how to write again with her hand after she had had a bad burn on her hand and arm. I had not known that and still couldn't believe how lovely her handwriting was. Today we were talking about the same old stuff and she gave me a compliment. Actually it was more than a compliment. Her words completely moved me to tears and made me happier than I had been in a long time with my job. She told me that I was the reason that she comes to the Y in the morning, to see my smile. She told me that I was a beautiful person and that I matter to the YMCA. It was perfect timing to hear. She said more that I can't remember enough to type in my blog, but she went on and that is when it was too much and the dam broke. I had to run out on the other side of the desk and give her a hug. Tears from me are pretty easy to get most of the time. Happy tears is what it was. Just nice words worth hearing once and while make you a better person don't you think? We all go through the motions at work We get up, work, go home. We do the best we can and sometimes more. We fail, we do it again, and once in a great while, we get a compliment that matters. Thank you for this.

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

Live and Learn

When I woke up Tuesday morning, going to Frances' cycling class was not the first thing on my mind, but it was the second. (first would be I wanted more sleep!) I ate a typical breakfast which was an egg sandwich. Because I had time, I sauteed some spinach and tomatoes and then add some scrambled egg to it and then ate it on an english muffin. It was yummy! I packed a snack for Wyatt and I because my plan was to go to cycling then play wallyball after. Cycling class was good! It was the second time for me during this new healthy living change for me. It was awesome. I kept up with the class and felt sweaty and good after class was over. Frances does a great job and keeps it hard, yet fun for me. The friends in the class make it fun too of course. After I went and played wallyball with the firemen and friends. Wallyball is something that I am learning more about. I can play good, I can hit the ball, but it is still just a bit different than volleyball because there are so many techniques you can use that you can't do while playing volleyball. It is fun and we even cheer when we do a good job. People had heard us down the hall and asked what the cheering was all about. Sue said it must be the wallyball players. YEP! It was us! We are that fun!

Wednesday was my doctor's appointment. I weighed myself on my scale when I woke up and was down one more pound! YAY! I told myself that I wasn't going to look at the scale again until Monday night at weigh in. The dreaded yearly check up was next. My year was really a year and a couple of months, but I was really glad I finally made the appointment and was on my way. I am currently on a low dos of a blood pressure medication. It also has something in it to help with water retention. This I know when I don't take them because my ankles swell up like balloons. I got there and weighed in (of course) and I was tons lighter than my Team scale says I am, so that was nice. Sadly my blood pressure was 130/90 which is not acceptable. After talking with my doctor she agreed to not up my medication and decided to see me in 6 months to see how I am doing with the healthy living change. One of my goals is to get off this medication totally, so hopefully I can just get that blood pressure down enough to not up my medication at least. Baby steps!

The hardest part of my trip was the drive home. I had just enough time to leave my appointment and get Wyatt to school on time, so he was getting McDonald's for lunch. I so badly wanted something. I thought about it 100 times on my way there and while I waited my turn to order. All I got myself was an iced tea. It was the best damn iced tea I have had in forever. I had been drinking soooo much water, that just this one simple unsweetened iced tea tasted golden to me. Later I asked Wyatt if he had any french fries left. He said no and I was sad, YET...felt like it helped me make a good choice. I knew already I had plans with a friend for lunch, it is just hard sometimes to make good choices.

I had plans to meet my friend Ally for lunch at Chipotle. I Googled ahead of time to see what my healthy options were at Chipotle which I found out unless you are getting a salad, there are none except for portion control. There are healthier options, but I was still going to eat over 1,000 calories unless I only ate half of a burrito or a taco or whatever.

I read that veggies were best and chicken 2nd best, black beans were better than the other beans, and the green sauce was the best choice for sauces. Guacamole was better choice than sour creme because of the good fats in the avocado. It was yummy and I tried to eat half. I didn't eat the whole thing but I still ate too much. I was uncomfortable forever and figured I wouldn't be eating dinner tonight because of it. 

Wednesday night was my team workout night. I was not very nice to my "late home from work" husband and left the house in a rush. I busted my butt to get there on time and there were only two of us there at our 5:15 start time. I am not sure why everyone in my group trickled in so slowly tonight, but I was in a time crunch and I needed this workout in the time I had. We finally went outside and I feel like we waited forever to start. We walked around the silly oval AGAIN. It is ok. I just really need more. I now blame myself for not telling Tammy I need more. I understand that the levels in our group are so wide in range and she tried to accommodate everyone, but I won't challenge myself all by myself. I need someone to challenge me or I need to be with a group of people that are at a higher level than me so I work harder. I think next week I will just tell her that I am going to need more. I will see what happens. I will also remember to bring my watch with me so if we end up going on the track outside or inside and I want to do a little walk/run practice, I can do that and push myself that way. I almost did that tonight, I just didn't push myself enough to go! I had to leave the team workout right at the end time to make it over to the Library to see my friend Cathi's photography display. She had an opening reception for it and it was only until 7pm. When I arrived she had treats also. Little cupcakes and cookies and sweets! Uggg. I ate some! My friend Candi was there and she had run to the Library from her house. When I found this out, I was almost jealous. I wanted to get back outside and make her run with me again! I was surprised at my thoughts. Afterward our club meeting (9pm) we went to PJ's to talk and laugh and drink and eat. I was hungry because of my big lunch and no dinner. I ate. I should have had a salad. I had a chicken sandwich instead. It came with fries. I ate the fries. Next time I am not going to do that. I am going to make sure I eat dinner and there will be no food that late nor that type of food. Live and learn. It wasn't a good night for me what-so-ever, but I have no one to blame for any of it but myself.